A film about a lovely-but-weird girl who tries to join the royal family and seduce Prince Harry of the UK.
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Written and directed by Eloise Lang and Noemie Saglio, who first brought the Connasse sketches to Canal in 2013, the movie kicks off with the self-congratulatory caveat: “Everything you’re about to see was shot with hidden cameras.” While that generally seems to be the case — although there are moments when the multiple angles feel extremely staged — that doesn’t make the viewing experience any more pleasurable, even if Cottin puts plenty of energy into her role as a status-obsessed 30-something who’d rather hook up with Prince Harry than get a real job.
That’s the plot on which the nonstop candid-cam gags are hinged, with many of them involving Cottin saying mean and stupid things to tourists, taxi drivers, pharmacists and random passersby, while wearing ridiculously short skirts to show off her killer legs. It seems to be a deliberate attempt to tarnish the already questionable reputation of Parisian women throughout the world, lampooning their supposed preoccupations with luxury fashion and perfectly thin bodies.
There are a few amusing moments, including a scene where Camilla (as the character is called) tries to take etiquette lessons from a British expert, leaving him politely stupefied by her rudeness. But most of the jokes involve the same over-the-top schtick found in many a middling French comedy, albeit on a much lower budget.
What Bitch ultimately shows is that when confronted by Camilla’s awful behavior, unsuspecting service industry employees have no choice but to accept such abuse with a smile. It’s rather sad and unpleasant to watch, even if the closing credits reveal the moment when the victims are finally let in on the gag, with Cottin coming over for a friendly hug. Yet unless these people were all paid for participating in the movie (it’s highly doubtful), this seems to be a case where the joke really is on them in the end, while the filmmakers will be laughing all the way to the bank.
“5 Centimeters Per Second” will be screened on Fri 10 Feb 2017, 8 pm and Sun 12 Feb 2017, 6 pm at L’Espace.
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