Tet time tensions: How to cope and be joyful

This time it's Tet, the Vietnamese Lunar New Year, which is as much about celebrating as it is about juggling endless tasks.

Tet, the Vietnamese Lunar New Year, is a heady mix of excitement and stress. There's the joy of celebration, the smell of banh chung, and the time to reconnect with family. But let's face it, for many people, Tet comes with a certain unspoken pressure. From managing finances to marathon housecleaning, Tet can feel more like a challenge than a holiday. It is a time when we have high expectations of ourselves and others, and meeting them can feel like a holiday triathlon.

Take cleaning, for example. Deep cleaning the house to welcome a fresh start sounds great, but does it really have to feel like a landlord's inspection? There's always that one corner of the house you haven't touched since last Tet, and now it's suddenly urgent. Add to that the stress of making or buying perfectly blooming flowers, and you're exhausted before the holiday begins. These traditions are meaningful, but they can also be exhausting. It's like running a relay race, only the finish line keeps moving.

Personally, I often panic as I clean and clean, only to have my parents complain that it's still not good enough. It's frustrating and makes the whole process unnecessarily tense.

Then there’s the money side of Tet. Buying gifts, giving lucky money, and preparing big meals are all wonderful traditions, but they can put a big dent in your budget. It’s like the holiday comes with its own bill, and for many families, it’s a struggle to keep up. The pressure to buy just the right gifts or prepare the most elaborate feast can turn what should be a joyous time into a financial headache. And let's not forget the silent competition: who can give the best gifts or the fattest lucky envelopes? I worry a lot because I don't have as much money as some of my relatives, which makes me anxious about how my contributions will be perceived.

Family gatherings can be tricky, too. You know those moments when someone asks: "When are you getting married?" or "How much do you make now?" While often innocent, these questions can make people feel uncomfortable or pressured. Sometimes even well-meaning relatives don't realize how much their words can sting. For younger family members, these gatherings can feel more like a job interview than a celebration, with every aspect of their lives scrutinized under a festive spotlight. In some regions, there's also a strong drinking culture during Tet, leading to endless rounds of drinking that leave people exhausted or perpetually hungover.

And let's not forget the endless social visits. Tet often involves hopping from house to house to deliver greetings, share meals, and exchange lucky money. While these visits are a wonderful way to connect, they can also be physically and emotionally draining. By the end of the holiday, many people feel they need another vacation to recover from Tet.

So how can we enjoy Tet without being stressed out? First, keep things simple. Cut back on the big traditions if they're too much, and focus on spending time with family. Consider skipping overly pricey material gifts and adopting a more relaxed approach. Planning also helps a little preparation and can save a lot of last-minute stress. Start early, spread out tasks, and don't hesitate to delegate. And keep in mind that Tet is about having fun together, not about being flawless.

Picture this: a Tet where the laughter is louder than the sound of cleaning, where meals are about enjoying good food instead of showing off, and where lucky money is given out with real care, not as part of a contest. That's the kind of Tet we all deserve. It's a Tet that leaves you feeling refreshed, not exhausted.

If Tet feels heavy this year, take a moment to pause. Talk with your family about sharing the work and keeping things light. Let's make Tet more about real joy and less about stress. Break the cycle of over-commitment and focus on what really matters. After all, the best memories are made when we let go of perfection and embrace the simple, genuine moments that make Tet special.

And while we simplify, let's also celebrate the beauty of Tet traditions. Embrace the good and share the warmth of Tet with those around you. Spread the joy of the holiday, honor its meaningful customs, and create a season filled with happiness, safety, and love for all. Happy Tet!